Yeah so I think I'm depressed but it's nothing like in the movies. No alcohol, no smoking, no crying, no suicidal thoughts (other than intellectual), no real sadness or despair (there's some disappointment but it's again more intellectual than emotional) and I don't really consider anything 'bad' in my life. In fact objectively most things are great. I get 3 nice meals every day, live in a nice apartment next to the park with a cool gf. Family's part of my life, as are some good friends I can rely on. Work my own hours and it pays the bills.
At the same time it's completely empty. Going outside or making career moves or traveling or going dancing or eating out or whatever, just doesn't do it for me anymore. I feel pretty empty about most things, and I'd be mostly comfortable losing touch with say my friends. I tend to leave my house, in total (whether it's groceries or seeing friends) maybe 40 times a year and I tend to wake up and spend an hour in bed lying there without any reason to get out of bed, and then finally do because it's so boring to just lay there a whole day.
So yeah definitely 'gray' for me, while the 'black' thing just absolutely doesn't resonate.
At the same time it's completely empty. Going outside or making career moves or traveling or going dancing or eating out or whatever, just doesn't do it for me anymore. I feel pretty empty about most things, and I'd be mostly comfortable losing touch with say my friends. I tend to leave my house, in total (whether it's groceries or seeing friends) maybe 40 times a year and I tend to wake up and spend an hour in bed lying there without any reason to get out of bed, and then finally do because it's so boring to just lay there a whole day.
So yeah definitely 'gray' for me, while the 'black' thing just absolutely doesn't resonate.