> Maybe we're all losing the ability to connect with one another authentically.

I think it's cultural. Different cultures, different ways of establishing trust. I had an interesting conversation with a coworker (I work for a German company) about the need to calibrate monitors for proper color rendering for different tasks. His desire to understand the 'truth' about how monitors deliver light to our eyes was quite strong while at the same time being very direct about rejecting casual references such as it's just what you have to do with a monitor when you do print jobs. Germans. Engineering focus and zero bullshit is part of the culture.

I also 'hung out' with a bunch of Romanians in Amsterdam one night over the weekend. They were very direct with mis-trust. One of them put his coat next to me on the couch I was sitting on and he looked right at me and said "you don't steal my coat, OK?". I assured him I was not going to steal his coat and then he smiled and said "great!". :)

In the U.S. it seems we use a lot of shortcuts to establish trust quickly. The problem with this approach is that because the cost of trust is so low (say an ad hominem argument or bandwagon bias) it's easy to abuse the trust system for personal gain. Given we're all about living the "American Dream" of becoming insanely successful ($1B exit anyone?), this frequently puts us in a situation of duality, where we want what we want, but aren't willing to put the time and effort into establishing the trust we need to get us there.

These are generalizations, of course.

What you've stated is exactly why they can can be subverted. Pretty much every influence, sales, negotiation book will cover these mechanisms. None of this is new.

If you want the short version, read the 6 principles that Cialdini reduced them to.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini#6_key_principle...

> "Observing this, and portraying it as something new and abusable is just silly."

Err... no, it is not silly. Techniques like these are routinely used to separate people from their money -- and in the digital age to get people to share ever more information about themselves. Being aware that this is a 'thing' means you can come up with counter-techniques to cope with it. Or just let yourself be manipulated (I guess that should be counted as an option).

Also worth looking at the list of cognitive biases as they're commonly exploited too.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cognitive_biases

i understand what you're saying, but my gripe is how cynically natural behavior is being portrayed in the article.

I won't argue with you because my point we're not of differing views.

But using them as hacks subverts the real use of the behavior. Now, when someone uses my name multiple times in conversation and touches me on the shoulder, I assume that the person is trying to trick me. That is a net-loss, as it undermines incidents where someone is genuinely trying to support me.

I'm surprised by how common this pattern retrofitting is. Two people like each others and behave in a way. So behaving in that way makes you liked. Weird.

You should really read the Cialdini book if you haven't.

I agree, this is one of the books that most influenced me as a person. It surprising how many times you see these tactics used by salesmen or even trial lawyers. Read this book because it will prevent people from taking advantage of you.