In the future, while you're away your Samsung fridge will use electricity to chat up the Whirlpool washing machine.

In Zap Brannigans voice:

“I am well versed in the lost art form of delicates seduction.”

and she will tell neither of you two who she got that cute little pixel badge from which will make you jealous and then the microwave will tell you it's been hustling on the side as a PAI and that it can get that info ... at the cost of a little upgrade

s/need/be/

I keep my typos organic — it proves I’m not an LLM

Reasonable. I've considered using em dashes for plausible deniability for the opposite reason.

"Now I've been admitted to Refrigerator Heaven..."