I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!
How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –
To tell one’s name – the livelong June –
To an admiring Bog!
Which reminds me of a nice, not that short, fable by Richard Bandler, Adventures of Anybody, which is a nice take on being Anybody, instead of being Nobody or Somebody. Highly recommended, hypnotic (which was Bandler's intention) read.
I think some people just have a really nice way to put things out there in the wild. Like for me is “yeah I was at the river and then I caught a fish, and then I chopped his head off” and someone else will tell you a beautiful story about wilderness, connecting with the environment and Solomonic measures. I just fucking killed a fish.
I sometimes have to face phone calls like these where I know the person is very outgoing and has very "shareable" interests (interests that are simple, broadly applicable to everyone and in vogue - think hiking/climbing, frequenting breweries etc), and it feels weird having to say something like "Oh I didn't do much last weekend. Just some chores, practiced some music and read a few more chapters of <insert-well-known-but-not-popular-book>. Caught an amazing playoff game as well".
To be fair, they are not judgemental and the question is asked in earnest, but there is this feeling of inadequacy that is stoked in me, despite knowing that I picked my own interests and am happy with them.
I am on both sides of this. Thanks to significant feelings of inadequacy and social anxiety, I have a tendency to seek out "shareable" (excellent term for this) hobbies and activities so that I do have "interesting" stuff to talk about.
At the same time, I recognize that I'm doing this partially to fill a psychological void in myself. (Only partially because I am actually authentically deeply into these interests as well. I'm not a completely shallow person.) So when talking to people, I try to not overfit and focus on my more obvious conversation-worthy pursuits.
But I also don't want to just be boring either and talk about nothing. When I think about my favorite conversations with other people, it's rarely about what they have been doing. Instead, it's people that do normal stuff, but have particularly keen or funny insights on it. So that's what I aim for: to talk about the everday minutiae of life, but hopefully in a way that's a little more perceptive, or unusual or something.
I can relate. It ebbs and flows, but right now I'm content with devoting my weekends to working on my projects: also practicing music, organizing several terabytes of photos from the past decade, hobby robotics projects, making a dent in the tsudoku'd pile of books and films and media I've amassed.
I think often of our modes of consumption and creation. I've experienced enough of those shareable interests to know that those are pleasant in moderation - human beings as social creatures and such - but that I find them to be primarily consumptive in nature. Creation takes a lot of time - often alone, occasionally frustrating - but the delayed reward is (usually) worth it.
Lol, unfortunately it is not that kind of music. It is Indian classical, not very conducive to free-flowing conversation unless the person on the other side is a 60 year old enthusiast.
I like how many folks these days list "Investor" or "Advisor" in their experience on LinkedIn, along with a list of where they've sprinkled their excess cash. Excellent humblebrag. I'm considering mentioning that I have shares in a Vanguard mutual fund.
thanks for reminding me of that movie! I haven't seen it a very long time. Its hard to explain, but its a kind of humor that I really don't see very often--serious and self-deprecating humor.
At some events, casual conversation has a burdensome, perfomative element.
Perhaps what has changed is the veneer. There is more meme-dropping in addition to garish status-boasting. The narrator mentions some interesting ideas but doesn't feel the need to impose himself. I laughed at the passing mention of spirituality without religion... It's hard to Do No Harm in the world that we have built.
Narcissocial media has also made people ready to assert things that are -- to be frank -- none of my interest or business.
I don't know about you, but when it seems that everyone else is meme-dropping and flaunting their exceptionalism (for which they are inevitably so croakingly thankful...), I chide myself momentarily for not being part of the scene.
But then I recall that narcissocial media is an empty barrel rolling down a monetised slope. ^_^
my read is it is skewering both the "performative over achiever" and the "ambition-less bored under achiever." Maybe its intended as a rorschach test to see which side people see.
I like that. It’s funny to see the thread here where so many are like “yeah, eat that Panera, wallow in emptiness, that’ll show those narcissocialists!”
It’s a more subtle piece than it appears. I think you’re spot on.
It's about a life where you go to parties with people who aren't really friends but are upwardly mobile acquaintances and feel a pressure to one-up each other, or at least convey success to them. This is pretty much life as an unmarried yuppie, as you seek out a mate.
Perhaps this question is exemplifying the type of "competitive living" the article is mocking.
Personally I don't think it matters if it's Statham or The Classics, what matters is you sincerely enjoy it rather than out of some sense of obligation.
And I'd much rather listen to anybody talk about "The Transporter" than "Life of Pi", or Panera than rediscovering spirituality.
Yes. We shouldn’t be defined by success. We have one life and should enjoy it as much as possible. You don’t take any of that growth with you to the grave.
So. . . might as well never move out of mom’s basement?
Those who advocate for growth and learning don’t do so because of a belief that it will transcend the grave, but that it offers the potential for a more fulfilling life.
Maybe that’s wrong, and mom’s basement is fine, but I don’t really believe that.
For a moment, I thought this would take me to a LinkedIn post, where I see people are "humbled", "blessed", "thrilled", and "honoured" on a regular basis.
