You're right that men are far more likely to be involved in violent incidents which are likely to lead to potentially violent confrontations with police. You're also right that this difference largely explains the disparity in the percentage of people shot by police by gender.

I guess the question is why people don't think that correlation holds true by race (or culture) as well. The percentages match up. For instance, white males (and black males and hispanic males) are actually over-represented as demographic cohorts who are victims of police shootings, whereas asian males and women of all races are under-represented. This tracks exactly with violent crime rates.

Perhaps we should address this a gender problem more than a racial problem. At least, that's what the data tells us.