Sorry to be blunt but it seems that you might just be too picky. The few men you found attractive may have been "out of your league" and just trying to hook up. They ghosted you when they understood you were looking for something different. And they may have skewed your perception of what is really attainable. Have you tried dating men that you would consider a bit less attractive? Older men? Divorced men? etc. Attraction isn't always instantaneous and can develop over time if you give it a chance. As an encouragement, you do sound intelligent and kind. Good luck!