You're under pressure. Stay there - it's right where you're meant to be. This pressure will either crush you, or change your character from coal into diamond.

Remember, even if your friends are dicks and your dad is abusive, you've got dozens of friends on HN who believe in you :)

Print the responses on this thread, and read them out to yourself every morning before and after you go for a jog. The perspective that will provide you will help.