I was feeling really sad for you until I read this: What doesn't make it any easier is that I'm 20
Relax. Get a job at the supermarket, or anything that will pay the bills for now. Figure out your main gig slowly on the side. If you share more about your freelancing work, people here might be able to help you out.
I have to agree with this. At the moment you are under a lot of stress and not thinking straight because you have no cash and no idea what you want to do. You need something to level you, get you back to a a place where you can at least pay rent, pay some bills, and decide what you really want as a career.
There is nothing wrong with taking a position where the work doesn't really require much thought or have great prospects down the line. It doesn't sound like that's what you need right now, you would beenfit from some time and a bit more security. Then use those free eveings you have after work to figure out what's next.
I have to disagree. The fact that he's 20 does not lessen his depression. Depression comes when your status in life is drastically lowered. It comes from moving down the pecking order. It's relative. In other words, if all you've ever had is a job working as a cashier in a supermarket, you may not feel as depressed as if you had a job as an IT manager and got demoted to desktop support--or got laid off. He did have a high-paying IT job and now seems to have nothing. Yes, he's young and can get back in the game easier, but the way he feels is human tendency.
Depression comes when your status in life is drastically lowered.
I thought that depression was the result of a chemical imbalance. It might be worthwhile to seek the help of a healthcare professional to help treat it before it gets any worse.
Hey man, first of all get out of those suicidal thoughts , you're still young , you havent seen much, yeah life is hard , i agree , but life is more worth it, just think about your parents and loved ones , enough of it , coming to the advice revorad gave really good advice, you have just reached 20 , you got lot of life ahead of you. For now join a supermarket , if possible try joining some tech company even if its a small ,low paying job, it will help you pay your bills and being in the industry , you'll know what's going on in the market and you'll also improve your contacts.
Relax. Get a job at the supermarket, or anything that will pay the bills for now. Figure out your main gig slowly on the side. If you share more about your freelancing work, people here might be able to help you out.