> A person who knows a lot of people after many years is able to connect you to the right people even though they have such a large network that you can't possibly imagine they have close relationships with most of them
Yes, and I've met many people like that, and I never like any of them. They're all fake users of other people. They become people you only care to talk to when you need something and you know they probably know someone. Useful, sure, but people I want to ever hang out with, nope.
Worse, if you're not careful, they're constantly giving your name to people who just want to use you for some purpose thinking you'll help for free because they know so and so.
> Do you really consider it creepy that you take your friends' business cards, ask them who they are desperately looking to meet, and actually talk them up to people whenever you feel that you might make a good match?
Yes. That kind of thing should happen naturally, because I actually want to do it, it would bother me if someone asked me to talk them up.
> For example when a nightclub promoter invites you (a guy) what he really would like is for you to bring a girl or two to the event, so more alcohol will be sold.
I don't think you're relating well to hackers. Such a thing has never and likely will never in my life happen. I've never even met a night club promoter, and if I did, I wouldn't be interested in talking to him anyway, nor would I go to a night club.
> Is it weird that you have a group of guys who remember to meet girls for their friends and invite them all to a big house party so they can introduce their friends and generally hang out and have a good time?
Yes, again, I would never go to a house party full of people I don't know, wouldn't care to, wouldn't enjoy it.
You're clearly an extrovert and don't seem to understand none of this sounds at all appealing to introverts. You all sound fake and creepy and I'd be bothered to even think you had a strategy for generating social proof.
> Why not be part of one.
Because I wouldn't like people who behaved that way. They're fake, annoying, think they have 100 friends when they don't really know what the word means, and they use everyone around them. These are not attractive people to me. Write me an article on meeting people that I actually like and then I'm interested. Meeting people should be about quality, not quantity.
Quality comes later. You do this kind of thing to get ahead in a certain world where you want to achieve something that you wouldn't normally achieve if you did things, as you say, "naturally".
Like I said you can be creepy and a "user" if you do it only for yourself. Or you can focus on helping people and connecting them like Ron Conway for example. It happens in all sorts of human interactions.
You say you would never go to a house party full of people you don't know. Would you go to one that has lots of people you do know -- i.e. your friends?
Let me ask you something ... as an introvert, how do you plan to meet someone e.g. a girl you are attracted to, if your immediate circle of friends wouldn't introduce you to one? How do you meet people if you never go to events full of people you don't know?
Actors in hollywood, etc. have to hustle and make connections. Same goes for musicians, comedians any other performing art. They can't ALL be creepy can they?
What I can tell you is this. A lot of people you meet who make you feel good do it by having empathy and UNDERSTANDING where you are coming from. If you do this systematically with everyone (e.g. think about what a promoter would appreciate before coming to the party) then you aren't being creepy, you are being considerate. And people like that. Yes, this generates social proof, but that's the next level. You generate things bigger than yourself. Just because you are able to "hack" the system doesn't mean you're a bad person, if you are helping everyone.
> You do this kind of thing to get ahead in a certain world where you want to achieve something that you wouldn't normally achieve if you did things, as you say, "naturally".
I don't want to live in that world.
> You say you would never go to a house party full of people you don't know. Would you go to one that has lots of people you do know -- i.e. your friends?
Certainly. New people are fine in moderation, I'd just never go to a party full of strangers. It'd be no fun at all.
> Let me ask you something ... as an introvert, how do you plan to meet someone e.g. a girl you are attracted to, if your immediate circle of friends wouldn't introduce you to one? How do you meet people if you never go to events full of people you don't know?
You don't have to actively seek to attempt to introduce new people to your social circles to run into them anyway. You meet friends of friends without it being planned. You meet new people when following your own interests as a side effect without meeting new people being the goal.
> Actors in hollywood, etc. have to hustle and make connections. Same goes for musicians, comedians any other performing art. They can't ALL be creepy can they?
Yea, they pretty much are, because they're always selling something, always trying to use you in one way or another to forward their cause; it's annoying, insulting, self centered, and causes many introverts to avoid these types of people all together.
> If you do this systematically with everyone (e.g. think about what a promoter would appreciate before coming to the party) then you aren't being creepy, you are being considerate
I agree with that. But if you're being considerate while also thinking how can I use this to my advantage, then it's no longer considerate even though it appears to be. To me it's not your actions that make something considerate, it's your intentions.
If I met someone who consistently helped me out here and there, but I also noticed that every time, it also helped him out in some way then I would no longer consider what he does friendly, I'd consider it manipulative and avoid socializing with that person. Real friends help you even when it's not to their benefit, not just when it's convenient to them.
This is all just how I feel of course, but I doubt I'm alone in this regard. I'm sure many introverts feel the same.
Yes, and I've met many people like that, and I never like any of them. They're all fake users of other people. They become people you only care to talk to when you need something and you know they probably know someone. Useful, sure, but people I want to ever hang out with, nope.
Worse, if you're not careful, they're constantly giving your name to people who just want to use you for some purpose thinking you'll help for free because they know so and so.
> Do you really consider it creepy that you take your friends' business cards, ask them who they are desperately looking to meet, and actually talk them up to people whenever you feel that you might make a good match?
Yes. That kind of thing should happen naturally, because I actually want to do it, it would bother me if someone asked me to talk them up.
> For example when a nightclub promoter invites you (a guy) what he really would like is for you to bring a girl or two to the event, so more alcohol will be sold.
I don't think you're relating well to hackers. Such a thing has never and likely will never in my life happen. I've never even met a night club promoter, and if I did, I wouldn't be interested in talking to him anyway, nor would I go to a night club.
> Is it weird that you have a group of guys who remember to meet girls for their friends and invite them all to a big house party so they can introduce their friends and generally hang out and have a good time?
Yes, again, I would never go to a house party full of people I don't know, wouldn't care to, wouldn't enjoy it.
You're clearly an extrovert and don't seem to understand none of this sounds at all appealing to introverts. You all sound fake and creepy and I'd be bothered to even think you had a strategy for generating social proof.
> Why not be part of one.
Because I wouldn't like people who behaved that way. They're fake, annoying, think they have 100 friends when they don't really know what the word means, and they use everyone around them. These are not attractive people to me. Write me an article on meeting people that I actually like and then I'm interested. Meeting people should be about quality, not quantity.