Could it be that you hesitate to "write" because you've accurately "read" the room?
E.g. a toddler may find it easier to kick around a ball on a lawn vs. a kid kicking it around on a soccer field with boundaries, goal posts, and rules. To extend the analogy, everyone thinks the toddler is cute and doing a great job, but only the kid's parents think she's playing well.
There's merit in that; being highly conscious of others' behaviour makes one think others are similarly highly conscious, making you self-conscious and awkward.
I mean it's projection too; I'm very judgmental about people, thinking they look stupid, so I tend to avoid doing anything weird in case people think I look stupid.
Or could it be that they can "read" because they can't "write" the room? If you struggle to interact, you probably pay much more attention to what's going on than other people, as part of an attempt to learn how to do it.
I’ll counter that and say once you realize there’s very little rationality behind emotions, you don’t take the fight on. Humans are emotional first.
Again, anecdotal, the few that somewhat understand it are the ones that have been driven by emotion for long periods of time and have seen how out of control they are (not saying they are off doing crazy things).
I’ll give a small example from work. There’s a business analyst who fucked up our product, but is very good friends with most of the team. Emotionally, the team take offense when he/she is called out. In fact, we have difficulty unraveling or changing the direction of some his/her decisions because they are protected.
What do you do here? The group is wrong, but right, but wrong.
I’m just bringing up simple work friends here. I haven’t even ventured into love, hate, childhood friends, family, parents, partners, religion, culture, children, identity, politics, money, dignity, pride, indignation, vengeance, retribution, redemption, all things Shakespearean.
You cannot fight so many of these things, and literally need to wait it out until everyone in the room realizes and are ready to compromise.
In short, some of these things are forgone conclusions, and it is depressing. That it often takes lifetime until everyone in the room gets it, and the only solace is at the end, where we take the little victory that at least everyone now understands. But, nothing got done as we all waited for everyone to go through the (e)motions.
E.g. a toddler may find it easier to kick around a ball on a lawn vs. a kid kicking it around on a soccer field with boundaries, goal posts, and rules. To extend the analogy, everyone thinks the toddler is cute and doing a great job, but only the kid's parents think she's playing well.