I acknowledge your point. And yet, I would suggest you should reconsider, for two reasons:
First, it feels (to me, at least) like someone is genuinely wanting to be helpful, and you throw it back in their face. Your point is valid, but you could be turning away potential allies.
Second, you are opening the door to people thinking, "Right, we white people will figure out how to solve all the black peoples' problems" - with all the paternalism that implies. I recognize that you are very much not saying that. But it seems likely that someone will take it that way, either because of malice or just because they are bent toward taking it that way.
I will not reconsider telling people that they're asking victims for additional emotional labor. The very attitude is poisonous. Instead of "take over and solve the peoples' problems" it is, like UX research, mostly an act of listening to people of color, not of declaring themselves the arbiters of the solutions.
All it takes is letting go of one's ego to center the conversation around listening to people of color instead of deciding to take control of the conversation or of their "salvation."
First, it feels (to me, at least) like someone is genuinely wanting to be helpful, and you throw it back in their face. Your point is valid, but you could be turning away potential allies.
Second, you are opening the door to people thinking, "Right, we white people will figure out how to solve all the black peoples' problems" - with all the paternalism that implies. I recognize that you are very much not saying that. But it seems likely that someone will take it that way, either because of malice or just because they are bent toward taking it that way.