I often find that I need to reassess my privileged notion that this is normal when conversing with friends who are shorter, darker or female.
I'm about 5'8" and female.* Except for the phenomenon I mentioned in another comment of being hassled for Walking While Homeless, I feel fairly comfortable walking almost any time, almost anywhere.
I don't have an explanation for that. But it makes me wonder about what all factors into the equation, both from the perspective of how others react and from the perspective of how people experience such things.
* And white, which I didn't state because the default assumption is that if you don't state your race/color, then you are white. But I am adding it as a footnote because I am finding myself uncomfortable with reinforcing an essentially racist cultural practice.
Speaking from my own experience, there's a degree of 'blending in' that is distinct from the more obvious race/gender/affluence 'visible' factors, and more to do with behavior.
I've spent quite a bit of time in various dangerous neighborhoods, cities in general and other parts of the world. In quite a few of these places I should stand out and/or be a target, being a scrawny/weak and very white person.
Yet somehow, I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually run into trouble. What's even stranger is that quite a few of the locals I'd spend time with would be bothered or even robbed during my stay with them.
The only thing I can point to that was different about these locals was that they (understandably) had a bigger fear of 'the streets', were raised in a much more sheltered way than I was, and just stuck out like a sore thumb in the way they carried themselves.
I've experienced a few occasions where, for example, the local's insistence on crossing the street to avoid trouble actually drew attention. Or they'd pull out their fancy phone right in sight of a group of 'loitering youth'. Or stop and act like they didn't know where they were going. Or make (fearful) eye contact. etc.
Could be maybe you're also better at the way you 'carry' yourself, aside from other factors that might make you blend in or stand out?
Could be maybe you're also better at the way you 'carry' yourself
This is possible.
I come from a multicultural background. I never entirely fit in anywhere, so I always feel a little "alien," yet I am not easily intimidated, I generally like people and I am comfortable socializing with all kinds of people. I certainly don't actively broadcast that I'm scared, and I actively downplay any special privilege or assets that I have which might make me a target.
I'm about 5'8" and female.* Except for the phenomenon I mentioned in another comment of being hassled for Walking While Homeless, I feel fairly comfortable walking almost any time, almost anywhere.
I don't have an explanation for that. But it makes me wonder about what all factors into the equation, both from the perspective of how others react and from the perspective of how people experience such things.
* And white, which I didn't state because the default assumption is that if you don't state your race/color, then you are white. But I am adding it as a footnote because I am finding myself uncomfortable with reinforcing an essentially racist cultural practice.