I mean, you could always just ask that the payment be donated to a charity instead, right?

But since almost everything we do is in some way technically illegal, it is important for everyone to be able to function under that premise.

I mean, just to cut the check technically the employer would need a W-9, a work for hire contract, and who knows what else. Let's call the lawyer and spend $5k deciding whether we can do this, and then decide 6 months later it's too risky.... Or, we do it, get better hires, execute on our plans better, meet revenue targets, and succeed in the market, by not following all the rules, just the rules that matter.

Knowing the rules to follow and the rules to forget is the hardest part, but a crucial skill in life and business. The more you push the envelope, the faster you can run, and the more likely you are to combust. See Zenefits...

You are an edge case. There should be a workaround for you, but just because something doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work in general.